Winter is here

Winter is here and has brought the cold and flu season with it.

Oh, hurrah! cry all the parents everywhere with one voice – though the slightly crazed look in every eye leads you to think this may not be true enthusiasm. Parents know the truth – none escape winter unscathed.

It’s the second day of winter, and 75% of the family is unwell. 50% are on antibiotics. You’re impressed I’m doing stats, right? It’s easy with a family of four.

So many people tell me it must be easier being a mum because I’m a nurse. I wouldn’t have a clue if it is or not because I wasn’t a mum before I was a nurse. What I will tell you is how my mind works when my boys are sick. Nurse-me and Mum-me often discuss how to proceed.

Nurse-me: Okay, both down for the night. Great.
Mum-me: What was that? A cough?
N: Sounds okay.
M: No it doesn’t. Better go check.
N: Sound asleep. He’s fine.
M: Is he? He’s breathing, right?
N: …right. He’s breathing.
M: Normally?
N: Yes. Normally.
M: Okay. What about the other one?
N: He’s fine. Go back to bed.
M: Okay. You’re sure they’re not cyanosed? They looked a little blue to me.
N: That’d be the nightlight. Sleep.

M: Can’t sleep. Better check the kids again.
N: They’re fine.
M: You’re wrong.
N: Fine, go check them. Just leave me out of it.
M: He sounds congested. Do you think he’s congested? I think he is.
N: He’s not congested.
M: He clearly is. I’m getting the steamer out. Where is it?
N: In the cupboard. You only put it away yesterday – it’d been out for two months.
M: I told you I shouldn’t put it away or they’d get sick. You made this happen.

M: The toddler is awake again. Is he hot?
N: No.
M: You can’t tell from there. I’m getting the thermometer.
N: Does he have a fever?
M: …no.
N: Right. Back to bed.
M: What about the baby?
N: Fine, check him. I’m not settling him if you wake him though.
M: HA – I was right. He’s burning up!
N: What’s his temperature?
M: 37.7.
N: Quick, hit the emergency bell!
M: Shut it. Do I give him some medication?
N: No.
M: But he has a temperature.
N: He’s asleep.
M: But he might be uncomfortable.
N: Are you kidding me? He barely flinched when you checked his temperature.
M: You’re right. Is he unconscious?
N: No, he’s asleep. Rack off and take your drugs with you.
M: I just need to check he’s rousable first.
N: Great, you’ve woken him.
M: Might as well give him some medication why he’s awake.
N: I’m not going to win this, am I?
M: Nope.

…and on it goes. I second-guess every decision and hope I’m not stuffing up my kids’ health because I think I know what I’m doing. It usually results in very little sleep on my part.
Please tell me I’m not the only one having days (or nights) like this!

Perfection Pending
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16 thoughts on “Winter is here

  1. Lol! I’m not a nurse but my mom is a doctor so I go through a similar dance when my little one is sick. I keep calling her at all hours of day and night with panicked questions only to have her tell me to stop giving myself a heart attack every time the baby sneezes!

  2. I’ve been a mom for nearly 24 years and when my 4 year old grandson bumped his head, I was immediately checking in with my son (who works in EMS). All my mom years of experience and common sense flew out the window. He was fine and my inner mom voice turned back on but it was funny how quickly I just panicked.

  3. No, not just you at all. Thing are always -ALWAYS – worse at night and I’m always convinced that my kids will die if I’m not awake constantly checking on them, even if it’s just a bit of a temperature. By morning they’ll be chipper, their symptoms eased by the mere rising of the sun, and I’ll be the one looking like the walking dead on zero sleep. And I KNOW this…and yet I can’t help myself.

    • So true! I used to work as a receptionist for a GP…in the mornings there’d be parents with dark sunglasses and extra large coffees with kids that zipped around the waiting room like hummingbirds on speed. The parents would be almost in tears explaining the night they’d had! It happened too many times to be a coincidence.

  4. nmsullivan0909 says:

    very true! the mom voice needs to relax sometimes, knowing the nurse is available. see you at writing101!

  5. I can relate to this on many levels… mother of four (now gown up) and a nurse a long long time ago. Love the touch of humor, but it does nothing to conceal the motherly concern (or freak out).

  6. oh my, this is hilarious!! I’ve often thought I should get some sort of medical degree so I’d feel better when my kids are sick. Sounds like it wouldn’t help. I do this same thing when I think my children aren’t developing ‘on schedule’ pulling out every learning disability from my past days as an elementary and early childhood education teacher πŸ˜‰

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