It’s a miserable, grey, rainy day today.
I don’t know about your family, but we all seem to go…well, a little crazy on days like this.
Alpha has found his destructicon mode. I’m yet to find the off switch.
Shortly after breakfast Alpha grabbed a tea towel and was brandishing it like a whip and cleared the fridge of magnets. Then I discovered the new scrubbing brush in the bin and the old sponge (that had been in the bin) was miraculously back in the sink.
After that he informed me he was a genius (can’t argue with that) and asked for some milk. Once I dragged a ‘please’ out of him, I got his cup and the milk. Before I could begin pouring, he grabbed the cup and raced off to the toy kitchen and put the cup in the fridge. He then returned to me and burst into tears because I had not yet poured his milk.
Then there’s Zulu. I recently posted that he’s making the jump from baby to little kid and is experimenting with his independence. That ‘experimenting’ has turned out to be a gateway drug. He is now a confident commando crawler and has heard the siren song of The Stairs. Like a a junkie, he must answer the call every.single.time and is solely focused on throwing himself down them.
The other discovery we’ve had this week is that teeth are for biting. He can now really get stuck into rusks.
And chair legs.
So while I’m dealing with Alpha, I have to watch that my little vampire isn’t trying to eat me from the toes up. I don’t mind that so much – at least I know he isn’t about to hurl himself down The Stairs.
Then you put the two together. Alpha is hell-bent on taking every toy away from Zulu. Zulu is determined to play with everything. My conversation with the bossy ‘market research’ woman (who just happens to be selling insurance) is punctuated with futile instructions to Alpha to Give That Back.
Eventually I put Zulu in the portacot to contain and separate. I disappeared to the bathroom and tried to steal a moment of peace.
It wasn’t to be.
Alpha appeared in the doorway demanding to know what I was doing. When I explained I was on the toilet, he promptly announced I was done and ran over to flush the toilet before I could inform him that I was not, in fact, finished.
He ran laughing from the bathroom. Once I’d composed myself I went on a toddler hunt. Normally this is easy because the hysterical giggling gives him away. Today, there was no reassuring giggle.
As The Silence grew, my hunt became more frantic. Finally I discovered him in the portacot with his brother. I have no idea how how he got in there, but there was some pretty ferocious rumbling going down. After Alpha lay on Zulu’s head, I put an end to it and decided to Leave The House.
I’ve previously written about leaving the house with the kids on a rainy day. It pretty much all applies here – except this time we had the car. So I wound up with two kids screaming their lungs out and refusing to settle for my friends Adele and Avril.
That is, until we entered the car park at the shops. Then Alpha gradually quietened while Zulu doubled his efforts to compensate.
So that’s how I wound up feeding Zulu while sitting in the front seat of the car in a shopping centre car park as Alpha snored in the backseat.
Oh, and it turns out there’s a 70% chance of 14mm of rain tomorrow. Yay!