The Lady of Snotland

It’s turning into One Of Those Days.

We had plans. Plans to Leave The House. We were even going to meet up with real people and play.

Instead, we’ve made a return to Snotland.

On top of that, I found Alpha in Zulu’s cot 45 minutes after I put Zulu down for a nap. Nap over, baby not rested. Mummy not impressed.

Then Alpha showed me how much I need to lift my game in the child proofing department by handing me a spanner and a mini flamethrowercandle lighter. After I padlocked the toolbox, he promptly jammed his fingers underneath.

So we’re off to a brilliant start, really. The dust has settled a bit, so I thought I’d share some more observations on having sick kids (because it’s more productive than pulling my hair out one strand at a time).

– don’t make plans to leave the house when your kids are sick. You know you’ll just have to cancel them, so why bother? Stay home in your pjs.

– don’t attempt to introduce weetbix to a sick, snotty baby. Just don’t.

– if you ignore my sage advice above, remember that weetbix is an appropriate substitute for concrete and must be rinsed of all surfaces immediately.

– ‘all surfaces’ includes the baby’s face.

– if you decide halfway through to switch to pouch food (because you think you have a chance of it being eaten), don’t select one with blueberry in it – unless you want to see just how far the droplets of your child’s snot goes when they sneeze.

– bibs are useless when your child is sick. Just stick it all in napisan and be done with it.

– some days there just isn’t enough coffee.

– frozen milk in your coffee an affogato doesn’t make.

– my new best friend Frida is nowhere near as gross as you’d think.

– Glen20. Hand sanitiser. Tissues. You can never have enough.

– actually, don’t even bother with the tissues – your baby will only consider your sleeve as an appropriate receptacle for his beloved snot snakes. Your face is also acceptable.

– if you run out of ideas for new games/tolerance for ABC2, there are hundreds of blogs with ideas for games. One of my favourites is Toddler Approved. I found the inspiration for these soft drink bottle skittles there and they’ve been a real hit today. 20140626-152721-55641385.jpg
That’s it for now…anyway, I’m trying my best to remember that every cloud has a silver lining.

It’s just that today that lining is snot.

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8 thoughts on “The Lady of Snotland

  1. I like the skittles idea, will be keeping that up my sleeve for a rainy (or snotty) day, thanks! Glad I stumbled across your blog, you’re hilarious! And I think with little ones at home all day and night it’s either laugh or cry right??? It’s not easy to be all zen about it, much as I try to be.

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