Surviving the Snot

You may have noticed there was no Toy Tuesday this week. The toys have been putting in some pretty long hours looking after two sick boys and haven’t had energy for play, so I’ve given them the week off.

I hope they realise I intend on taking next week off myself and they’re on full parental duties.

So, the boys are still/again sick. Hard to tell if it’s new or the same illness – they sort of roll into one after a while. It’s prompted me to share some observations on parenting sick* kids.

– Kids have some sort of internal calendar that tells them when weekends, public holidays, important work meetings and compulsory family events are on. That is when they know they need to get sick.

– This calendar also syncs with the closing times of your doctor and pharmacy.

– Kids have absolutely NO concept of universal hygiene precautions.

– On a related note, a sneeze in the face is how some cultures express love and devotion to their elders.**

– Childproof lids on medication bottles become adultproof after midnight.

– Medications with those funky ‘oral dosage devices’ that mean you don’t wind up tipping syrup all over the table are fantastic…until you lose the matching syringe. Then you’re stuffed.

– If you do happen to have the correct syringe, I strongly advise against removing it from the top of the bottle while you’re holding the bottle upside down.

– Medication syringes are a total pain in the bum to clean. The best way I’ve found is to turn them into mini water pistols while you’re washing up.

– The brand of drug your toddler will tolerate will make your baby projectile vomit.

– Vaporisers are brilliant. Just don’t set it up next to the baby monitor or you’ll be worried about the ‘strange talking’ you hear in your baby’s room.

– The day after you finally put the vaporiser away (even if it’s been unused for, maybe two months) will be the night your kids start coughing again.

– Everything gets worse at night.

– If you decide you’re not sleeping, you’ll be more appreciative of the hour or so the kids deigned to let you have.

– It’s much easier to work out a contingency plan for emergencies during the day.

– Don’t dismay if your child wipes their nose on you just before you go out*** – simply shake on some glitter and you’ve got instant bling.

– Saline sprays and snot suction thingummys require basic Jedi training to operate.

– Wiping your child’s nose would be a piece of cake if you were a ninja.

– You haven’t truly lived until you’ve caught another person’s puke in your bare hands. It’s exhilarating – don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

– They will get better. And you will get sick, and then recover just as they fall ill again…but you WILL eventually all be well at the same time. Just don’t expect that time to be before the middle of Spring.

* Just minor stuff. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like taking care of chronically/seriously unwell kids. Hats off to all of you who do.

** I made that up. I desperately hope it isn’t true.

*** To do something thrilling and exciting. You know, like taking out the rubbish. Or buying more toilet paper.

Toy Tuesday: you’re so vain

Well, the toys seem to be a little more at home now and are definitely letting their hair down. Leading the charge in all this, of course, is Ranna-T.

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With other dinosaurs around, Ranna-T needs to keep an eye out for any new wrinkles.

Just kidding.

He’s not that vain – he’s just checking there’s nothing caught in his teeth.

Not entirely sure what he’d be able to do about it if there was something there…

20140603-193535-70535212.jpg Even apex predators need a hug sometimes.

20140603-193946-70786977.jpg It turns out even the most sensible bear needs to let his hair down and get his bling on every once in a while.

I have no idea about the colander. Space ship? Poor choices the previous evening? Deluxe spa treatment? I couldn’t get him to talk.

Some of the local toys are becoming more adventurous too…particularly this helicopter with a penchant for peculiar landing spots.
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Oh, the things I could say here…but I’ll restrain myself.
I will say that this is the first time one of my bras has been used as a helipad.

Let’s just leave it there, shall we?
20140603-195342-71622139.jpgBefore you ask, we haven’t started toilet training yet.

I thought I’d leave the final word to a pair I spotted in a waiting room this week. I suspect an adult arranged them, but it still made me smile.
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Awwww…so much fluff.

Toy Tuesday: hide and seek?

It’s a little late, sorry!

While we’re house sitting we have access to a different bunch of toys. It turns out they’re far better behaved than ours, but I still managed to catch some moments of toys behaving oddly.

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So it turns out dinosaurs everywhere are troublemakers. I caught this one sneaking into the bathroom. He was trying to be discreet, but I suspect blending into white tiles wasn’t Stegosaurus’s strong point. What I’m trying to work out is why he was trying to get there.

My current theory is that he was playing hide and seek with Ranna-T. I don’t think he was winning.

While we’re on the topic of bathrooms…

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Yup.

It’s a dump truck. On the toilet.

There’s really not a lot more to say, really.

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This last one is sort of cheating.

Alpha handed me this small toy gun today. We haven’t ever discussed guns, and to the best of our knowledge, he had no idea about them. I had no idea what to say, so I just waited to see what he was going to do.

“You play my trumpet, mummy?”

I’m counting this as a parenting win – my toddler knows what trumpets are, and doesn’t know about guns. Of course I played the trumpet for him.

Toy Tuesday: Red Glider goes into hiding

Well, who would have thought that a dinosaur menacing an elephant would be popular? Thanks so much for the likes, comments, and even shares! It’s very much appreciated.

The toys have had a busy week. I’ve decided to show you all of the shenanigans I’ve captured, because I can’t choose just one.

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I was surprised to discover that plane was on the menu this week…

I think this is actually a secret hiding spot. Not for something as childish as hide-and-seek. Oh, no no no. Red Glider has been out on a secret spy mission. Unfortunately he was identified by his nemesis, Blue Jet (not pictured), so he’s lying low for a few days

And what exactly is Red Glider’s mission, I hear you ask?

I’m so glad you asked.

He was sent to learn more about a modern world filled with dinosaurs.

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Clearly, the prehistoric crew aren’t intimidated by technology. Far from it – Tricy has resorted to growling at all who dare to even look in the direction of his remote. This isn’t a territorial thing. Tricy is determined to get through his tv programme tonight regardless of what happens, so he has resolved to deny access to all channel surfers.

I have a suspicion I know who the main culprit is for the channel surfing.

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You guessed it.

Pengin.

Ranna-T is doing his best to stop Pengin from seizing the remote and doing something he regrets.

Sadly, Ranna T is a pretty bad enforcer. It’s not easy when your arms are so short.

…or is he being a bully again and insisting Pengin surrender all ?

These last two are technically cheating because I was the one putting Ranna-T down in these ones. But seriously, they really made me laugh.

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Because T-Rex bums are really happening in Paris this season.

Then things…progressed.

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I just don’t know where to begin with this one. What on earth is Ranna-T after? Is he searching for Red Glider’s hiding spot? Has he lost his car keys? Can he even reach the steering wheel? Or is he just trying to work more more pink into his wardrobe?

Over to you – what are the toys really up to?

Perfection Pending